The Whiff: March 2008

Friday, March 7, 2008

It's Friday....

...and I just want to dance, dance, DANCE!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Lebron Scores 50, Then Gets Bashful When a Fan Rushes the Court

If you didn't catch it last night or the highlights this morning, LBJ was doing his thing last night, putting up modest numbers of 50 points and 10 assists in a win over the Knicks.

But the added excitement from the game happened when a rabid Lebron fan rushed the court to get a chance to talk to James. The weird thing is, the guy looks like a young Damon Jones:

What was even more odd was Lebron's reaction to the fan:

"It was a great feeling, when you get a fan to come down there and express the way he feels about you," James said.

"He said he loved the way I play and that I was his favorite player. That never happens. I respect him. I respect his pride. For him to come out there and tell me something like that, it's [one of the most] unbelievable things that ever happened to me."

When reporters asked if he wasn't a little bit scared by the situation, James grinned and said, "I'm 6-9, 260. I'm all right."

Good old Lebron. He still gets butterflies in his stomach when a madman races towards him.

Alternate Take on Spring Training

The dish on a few teams in Grapefruit and Catcus Leagues that you won't get from ESPN.

Seattle Mariners -

All signs point to a promising season for talented young hurler Felix Hernandez, who has allegedly looked quite impressive thus far in spring training.

Erik Bedard, on the other hand, has looked like quite the tool in his interactions with the spring training media. (Yet again, I don’t have reporters in my face everyday…)

Nonetheless, after a not so ace-like start in a game against the Giants last week, Bedard answered a couple of questions, then told reporters, “This is way too many questions.” Were you confused as to what it was that the reporters were going to be doing, Erik?

At least you have to hand it to the guy - he showed his consistency in interviewing, which is really what you should look for in an opening day starter, if you ask me. Before answering any questions after a good solid, yet short outing against the Angels, Bedard laid out some ground rules.
“You’ve got four questions,” Bedard said. When one reporter asked, “why four?” Bedard responded with “That’s one.”

Erik is sure to become best friends with the reporters using this method of answering questions; a relationship that is sure to grow and flourish should any of the five promising players the Mariners sent to Baltimore have any sort of an impact at Camden Yards.

I think my question for him would be why he spells his name E-R-I-K.

Boston Red Sox -

Some may know of closer Jonathan Papelbon’s displeasure with Red Sox management over a contract agreement, as the closer is only was only paid $425,000 last year and is not in line to receive much more under the collective bargaining agreement that the players association negotiated. My recommendation to the Sox’ Suits to ease this tension and come to an agreement is to allow the closer to dance to Footloose before each of his appearances. No more Michael Flatley impressions! Serving to satisfy Papelbon’s love for dancing like a fool for all to see, a Footloose routine would also serve to confuse opposing batters. Is that….Kevin Bacon?

BARTOLO! I had a rude awakening upon opening an envelope my dad sent to me the other day, as one of the articles he sent included a excessively large picture of the veteran hurler as he rolled into training camp, also seemingly too large. I’m predicting a request on Colon’s to install a phone for fast food delivery in the Fenway dugout. Cheeburger Cheeburger is rumored to be first on his speed dial wish list. All this aside, word is that Colon is throwing extremely well. Please feed the man whatever he wants.

Florida Marlins –

The award for the Confusing yet Moderately Entertaining and Potentially Hilarious Move for the 2008 Season goes to…..Marlins management. All I will say is this: 10 fat men dancing, collectively called the Manatees. I am also forced to use the word “cheerleaders” here as well.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3263289

Atlanta Braves –

People who have read my posts before know that I appreciate a good sports name (ex. Former New Jersey Devil Valeri Zelepukin). The award out of this year’s Grapefruit League is Colter Bean out of the Braves’ camp. Please tell me this kid is from an Idaho farm town. Alabama, you say? That will do.

Crystal ball prediction – Bobby Cox will look older.

San Diego Padres –

Strange and meaningless fact you didn’t need to know: Jake Peavy doesn’t wear a cup. He paid for that decision on Sunday, as a liner off his glove nicked him where the sun don’t shine. Peavy was quoted as saying, “Yeah, I know, I don't wear a cup. Guess I have to start wearing one”….But, hey, I'm done having kids.”

What role do kids play in minimizing the effect a rock sold baseball has on your manhood?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Kutler's Rant- Vacation Edition

Greetings from snowy Steamboat Springs, Colorado! As I explained last week, I am currently taking a week of vacation from the office. Instead of getting up before 8 o'clock to go to the office, I've been getting up before 8 o'clock to go skiing in the Rockies. This means that I am not only still tired when I get up, but I also roll out of bed with throbbing sensation in my shins that only ski boots can provide. Nothing that four Motrin and a bottle of Fat Tire can't ease though, so I'm all about it. And I haven't had to shave or brush my hair for a few days, which is nice.

I've been in Steamboat since Saturday and I can report that I've only seen three people skiing in jeans. The jeans thing must be a phenomenon of the eastern U.S., as people out west tend to opt for a pretentious one-piece ski outfit as a means of looking silly on the slopes. Both are equally amusing and inefficient- jeans are tucked into ski boots, reminiscent of those school trip walks through the woods where you had to tuck your pants into your socks, and get easily wet while one-piece outfits make the wearer look like a jerk and presents issues for ease of restroom use. To make matters worse for one-piece guys, they usually complete their look with slicked back hair and shades. I can tell you that shades do nothing to keep the cold air out of your eyes while skiing down a mountain, but anyone who grooms himself with hair products before heading to the hill definitely deserves watery eyes. This is probably the same guy who has driving gloves for his automatic transmission car and a twenty thousand dollar set of clubs to go along with his thirty handicap, so steer clear when he comes your way unless he is looking to give you an unnecessary tip out his obnoxious bill fold.

As much as I could go on commenting of the strange doings of skiers (skiing with cowboy hats is also a peculiar epidemic out west, by the way) there is something else that this vacation has stirred me to reflect upon. Not coincidentally, it has to do with skiing and winter sports in general. The amount of winter (Olympic) sports coverage and the subject matter that makes up the lack of stories is unfortunate . Since I am at ski resort and know a bit about the topic, I'll use ski racing as an example to illustrate this.

Granted, of course, individual winter sports such as ski racing are not high number spectator sports and, therefore, do not receive much advertising money and subsequent television time. The only time that ski racing is ever given any play in the media is during the Olympics once every four years. When the Olympics come around, the media generates stories consisting of "hype" and "puff" pieces to inform the public on the obscure athletes they will see over the course of two weeks. The problem is that the competitions these athletes compete in during the two week period are the only exposure they get. This allows the general public to make swift and uniformed judgments on an athlete based on one minute out of an entire season or career.

Let's consider the case of everyone's (non) favorite ski racer Bode Miller. Before the 2006 Winter Games in Torino, Miller was another member of the US Ski Team on the fringe of the public consciousness who just happened to be among the leaders of the World Cup standings heading into the games. In Europe, ski racers are amply covered by the sports media and those who are serious contenders for Olympic medals are profiled throughout the season and their entire careers, but in America they are only seriously considered during Olympic competition. So, in a rush to compensate for a lack of coverage in previous years, the American sports media takes hold of any aspect of a skier's personality and exhaustively gives it "color" leading up to the competition. In Miller's case, NBC et al decided to play out the aspects of his "rebellious" character, portraying him as a man who shuns normal training methods on his New Hampshire property and one who likes to get drunk after races. What they neglected to show was Miller's tireless work ethic and his desire to defeat his competition (which he was doing in the World Cup standings at the time), but also his realistic outlook that he was not going to win every race and acceptance of that fact. When Miller failed to medal at the Torino games and had the "audacity" to say that it was OK, he was lambasted in the media for not caring. His rebelliousness and "lack of seriousness" was a letdown to America and once again Miller and his fellow ski racers slid into sports oblivion.

Now let's look at what supposedly non-serious Miller has accomplished in his skiing career. Since 2001, he has won 31 times on the World Cup circuit, including the overall World Championship in 2005. He is only one of five men in skiing history to win a World Cup race in all five of the disciplines (downhill, Super-G, giant slalom, slalom, and combined), winning four disciplinary World titles. He also won two Silver Medals during the Salt Lake Olympics in 2002. But to the American sports media that ignores ski racing and other Olympic winter sports, he is known for lack of victory in Torino and is considered a disappointment. After reading his accomplishments, how can this make sense?

The man who is considered to be one of the greatest American ski racers is Tommy Moe. In a most surprising fashion, Moe won the Olympic Downhill Gold Medal in 1994 in Lillehammer, but won only one other World Cup race in his career. Not taking anything away from Moe, but his accomplishments pale in comparison to Miller's. Yet, it is Moe who earns the respect from the American people and media because he happened to win a big race during the only time anyone in this country was paying attention. To me, this just doesn't seem right.

When I was growing up, ABC used to showcase sports such as skiing on its Wide World of Sports program. This show highlighted all sporting events throughout the world, covering one with the same significance as another. This generated interest within the general public for sports such as skiing, which resulted in television coverage for races on ESPN and CBS. Now, with World World of Sports gone, we are subjected to two-plus hour pregame shows and twenty four hour sports news channels that replay the same forty-five minute cycles.

Unfortunately, what gets lost are stories such as two Americans currently leading and probably soon securing the overall World Championships in skiing, Miller on the men's side and Lindsey Vonn on the women's side. Both have dominated the 2007-2008 season to little of no fanfare, Miller because he has already been improperly labeled as a loser and Vonn because the media fails to cover ski racing. As a result, we won't know about their victories until they happen, robbing us of following two great victories by American athletes. The best the Miller and Vonn can hope for is a good showing during the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver or we may never hear of their great accomplishments.

I'm not saying that skiing should take over the NBA's Saturday afternoon time slot, but updates on highlight shows and a little bit of AP wire column space, especially when our athletes are doing well, should at the very least be given. This way when the Olympics are held again we will know something about our athletes without having to rely on manufactured personality pieces and hopefully present us from holding ridiculous do or die expectations.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Talk About Creeps...

As a fledgling Knicks' fan, I hardly consider myself a current NBA savant, nor do I have much interest at all in professional basketball. However, the story of Chris Andersen's reinstatement to the NBA after being kicked out of the league for violating the league's drug policy caught my eye today. As I read and did a little research on Andersen I learned several interesting facts that irked me about this white hype, mostly leading me to the conclusion that he is an absolute creep.

For starters, check out Andersen's current look...

Tats aside, when I saw the above photo I immediately did a double take to make sure I hadn't misread the headline and that it wasn't in fact everyone's favorite goofy white NBA powerhouse forward Chris Kaman...

Although I don't agree with Andersen's current scene, he does pull off the Bill Walton very nicely...

However, unlike Walton, I doubt that Andersen is very familiar with a nice China Cat > Rider jam.

As I read on, the article noted that Andersen goes by the beloved nickname "The Birdman" due to his above the rim acrobatics and lenky body...

I guess this seems pretty "rad" to Andersen, who embraces the nickname. But do you really want to be sharing nickname-sake with this guy...

Former WWF "superstar," the Birdman Koko B. Ware.

The Birdman truly made a name for himself playing for Denver where he participated in the 2005 NBA Slam Dunk Contest in which he proceeded to set a Dunk Contest record by dubiously missing his first EIGHT dunk attempts in the contest, proving that Wesley Snipes was right...

If we did get one thing out of this Dunk Contest appearance it is in fact some more insight on why they call him the Birdman. Take a closer look at his head and tell me that doesn't resemble another famous bird...