Embarrassment means shame for one and entertainment for the rest. I like those odds. Ever since grade school and the days of getting caught in class passing notes or failing to obscure the headphones well enough to hide the fact we were listening to music or the game, we’ve all endured our “what the was I thinking?” moments. Unfortunate when it is you, but fantastic when it’s someone else.
While nothing is decided yet, it is clear that someone will come out of the Roger Clemens trial embarrassed. Let’s just say it’s safe to say that if you haven’t heard enough of this trial at this point, then you must have avoided the TV, internet, radio, newspaper, locker room, and water cooler talk for the better part of this week. Congratulations. I think….
Needless to say the Clemens topic has been beaten into the ground and there are no signs of relenting at least in the near future. In light of this, it’s time to recall some of the other sports figures who have graced the headlines with the not so graceful…..
Of course since sports isn’t life, (this is what I have been told, anyways) it’s always important to deride those in the spotlight who have publicly embarrassed themselves in the non-sports world as well.
Mo Vaughn
Yet I will begin will a popular sports icon that I grew up with; none other than Mo Vaughn. Who could forget Big Mo? It was well known that during his tenure with the Red Sox Mo liked to frequent the “gentlemen’s club” named the Foxy Lady in Providence, RI. All was going fine for Mo until an early morning in March 1998, when the slugger was headed home from the Foxy and flipped his truck after colliding with a parked car along the side of the highway. Vaughn failed eight sobriety tests. Way to go, Mo. Hope you enjoyed your lap dances.
Jeff Weaver and friends
After being caught lighting up a joint in an airplane restroom in July of 2002, Weaver’s Detroit Tiger teammates allegedly responded by calling the flight attendant who complained of this activity lewd names. Lisa Kesner, at whom the comments were directed, then filed a lawsuit against the team.
Adam “Pacman” Jones.
A poster child for the players who give the NFL a bad name, the Titans defensive back isn’t even worth the time or the effort to document all his brushes with the law. My sixth-grade typing classes weren’t good enough to teach me to type a three-page narrative in the span of five minutes.
Tony LaRussa
A recent classic is the March 22, 2007 DUI arrest for recent World Champion manager of the St Louis Cardinals. Found asleep at the wheel in Florida, the skipper underwent and failed multiple DUI tests. A couple drinks too many for the Cardinals manager after a long, arduous day at his team’s Spring Training facility.
Only two glasses of wine, Tony? “I got up at Six AM.” Well I hope you enjoyed your nap in the middle of the intersection.
H-I-J-K-L-M-N…I…Z???
The video of his arrest is priceless. Or pathetic. Actually, let’s go with both. Great Ford Truck ad, I say.
O.J.
Yeah….not even going to write anything on this one….except - Another ad for Ford Trucks?
Since the aforementioned sports icons have proven their worth as great role models, let’s look at some of the other people who are a great examples of wholesome, clean, upstanding citizens.
Lindsey Lohan
Hello? Stay out of the car! Step AWAY from the eight ball! How can one person manage to get busted for so many DUIs, and at such a young age?.…I think she has more than the average person has speeding tickets. The latest DUI came after crashing her Mercedes on an early May morning in 2007, with an added bonus of cocaine at the scene. She must have been tired on the drive home. Who am I kidding, it’s been over six months since then…am I missing a subsequent DUI?
Something tells me there might be either a parenting issue or a sense of feeling so used to the spotlight and so many adoring fans that there is a sense of feeling above us “normal people.” Hello, is that you, Roger?
No, who am I kidding, Lindsay must have been persuaded by her slightly cooler friends who constantly lead her into situations that find her needing more and more attention. Ok so what if I’ve seen Mean Girls? It was on a plane. I swear.
Hugh Grant
Oh, Hugh, one of the great (or worst) Hollywood “What the hell was I thinking” moments of our time.
The British-born actor, who has allegedly had previous problems staying away from prostitutes, including several convictions, was arrested on an early June morning in 1995 by Los Angeles Police after officers observed lewd contact with a twenty-three year-old prostitute named Divine Brown. Worth noting is the fact that the Four Weddings and a Funeral star had a girlfriend at the by the name of Liz Hurley. LIZ HURLEY, Hugh. C’mon! Good Lord, learn how to fight the urges!
While nothing is decided yet, it is clear that someone will come out of the Roger Clemens trial embarrassed. Let’s just say it’s safe to say that if you haven’t heard enough of this trial at this point, then you must have avoided the TV, internet, radio, newspaper, locker room, and water cooler talk for the better part of this week. Congratulations. I think….
Needless to say the Clemens topic has been beaten into the ground and there are no signs of relenting at least in the near future. In light of this, it’s time to recall some of the other sports figures who have graced the headlines with the not so graceful…..
Of course since sports isn’t life, (this is what I have been told, anyways) it’s always important to deride those in the spotlight who have publicly embarrassed themselves in the non-sports world as well.
Mo Vaughn
Yet I will begin will a popular sports icon that I grew up with; none other than Mo Vaughn. Who could forget Big Mo? It was well known that during his tenure with the Red Sox Mo liked to frequent the “gentlemen’s club” named the Foxy Lady in Providence, RI. All was going fine for Mo until an early morning in March 1998, when the slugger was headed home from the Foxy and flipped his truck after colliding with a parked car along the side of the highway. Vaughn failed eight sobriety tests. Way to go, Mo. Hope you enjoyed your lap dances.
Jeff Weaver and friends
After being caught lighting up a joint in an airplane restroom in July of 2002, Weaver’s Detroit Tiger teammates allegedly responded by calling the flight attendant who complained of this activity lewd names. Lisa Kesner, at whom the comments were directed, then filed a lawsuit against the team.
Adam “Pacman” Jones.
A poster child for the players who give the NFL a bad name, the Titans defensive back isn’t even worth the time or the effort to document all his brushes with the law. My sixth-grade typing classes weren’t good enough to teach me to type a three-page narrative in the span of five minutes.
Tony LaRussa
A recent classic is the March 22, 2007 DUI arrest for recent World Champion manager of the St Louis Cardinals. Found asleep at the wheel in Florida, the skipper underwent and failed multiple DUI tests. A couple drinks too many for the Cardinals manager after a long, arduous day at his team’s Spring Training facility.
Only two glasses of wine, Tony? “I got up at Six AM.” Well I hope you enjoyed your nap in the middle of the intersection.
H-I-J-K-L-M-N…I…Z???
The video of his arrest is priceless. Or pathetic. Actually, let’s go with both. Great Ford Truck ad, I say.
O.J.
Yeah….not even going to write anything on this one….except - Another ad for Ford Trucks?
Since the aforementioned sports icons have proven their worth as great role models, let’s look at some of the other people who are a great examples of wholesome, clean, upstanding citizens.
Lindsey Lohan
Hello? Stay out of the car! Step AWAY from the eight ball! How can one person manage to get busted for so many DUIs, and at such a young age?.…I think she has more than the average person has speeding tickets. The latest DUI came after crashing her Mercedes on an early May morning in 2007, with an added bonus of cocaine at the scene. She must have been tired on the drive home. Who am I kidding, it’s been over six months since then…am I missing a subsequent DUI?
Something tells me there might be either a parenting issue or a sense of feeling so used to the spotlight and so many adoring fans that there is a sense of feeling above us “normal people.” Hello, is that you, Roger?
No, who am I kidding, Lindsay must have been persuaded by her slightly cooler friends who constantly lead her into situations that find her needing more and more attention. Ok so what if I’ve seen Mean Girls? It was on a plane. I swear.
Hugh Grant
Oh, Hugh, one of the great (or worst) Hollywood “What the hell was I thinking” moments of our time.
The British-born actor, who has allegedly had previous problems staying away from prostitutes, including several convictions, was arrested on an early June morning in 1995 by Los Angeles Police after officers observed lewd contact with a twenty-three year-old prostitute named Divine Brown. Worth noting is the fact that the Four Weddings and a Funeral star had a girlfriend at the by the name of Liz Hurley. LIZ HURLEY, Hugh. C’mon! Good Lord, learn how to fight the urges!
Would fit well under “Guilt” in Webster’s Dictionary.
Marion Barry
Since no piece about getting caught would be complete without at least one political reference, (don’t worry, Bill, you’re safe for now) let’s recall the 1990 sting operation that left then Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry alone with shame. On January 18, 1990, Barry was arrested by F.B.I. and D.C. police for possession and use of crack cocaine in a downtown D.C. hotel room, set up by a friend who agreed to work with authorities. Perhaps Tyrone Biggums would have been a better choice to light up with?
Those familiar with the footage of Barry at the time of his arrest, which looks like a task-force video from COPS, will recall an enraged Barry uttering phrases a public figure probably shouldn’t be. “Goddamn setup . . . I'll be goddamn. Bitch set me up" among others. Ring a bell, anyone?
The best part of this sad tale? Although Barry was sentenced to a six-month federal prison term, Barry was later re-elected as mayor of D.C. after the news of this tale was already well-known. Leave it to our Nation’s capitol.
Marion Barry
Since no piece about getting caught would be complete without at least one political reference, (don’t worry, Bill, you’re safe for now) let’s recall the 1990 sting operation that left then Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry alone with shame. On January 18, 1990, Barry was arrested by F.B.I. and D.C. police for possession and use of crack cocaine in a downtown D.C. hotel room, set up by a friend who agreed to work with authorities. Perhaps Tyrone Biggums would have been a better choice to light up with?
Those familiar with the footage of Barry at the time of his arrest, which looks like a task-force video from COPS, will recall an enraged Barry uttering phrases a public figure probably shouldn’t be. “Goddamn setup . . . I'll be goddamn. Bitch set me up" among others. Ring a bell, anyone?
The best part of this sad tale? Although Barry was sentenced to a six-month federal prison term, Barry was later re-elected as mayor of D.C. after the news of this tale was already well-known. Leave it to our Nation’s capitol.
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