Kutler's Rant

Super Bowl Sunday-2008 was a very satisfying day. In holding with tradition, we borrowed a page from the Al Bundy manual and staged our own "No Maam" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_maam) party, allowing us to act like absolute crazies for one last Sunday, without distraction of the fairer sex. This resulted in a great day of drinking for the sake of getting drunk, grilling, abusing Skoal, hooting, hollering, and impromptu games of cee-lo in the backyard. Clickity-clack! Can't do that stuff in the presence of ladies, no sir. So with those conditions satisfied, we all settled in the living room for the game itself. Jokes were made, money was gambled, and lots of stuff was thrown at Kenny Perez. The game was actually pretty good too. It was very well-played and entertaining, and the fourth quarter ended up producing many of those moments that can cause an entire room to jump from their seats in excitement. So congratulations to the New York Giants for winning the championship and congratulations, I guess, to Kenny Perez for being a Giants fan, although he looked terrible by the end of the game.

There was nothing really to rant about from yesterday's game. As I said, it was a good day and a good game. Entering the office today, however, opened up a whole can of worms. The bad thing about going towork the day after the Super Bowl is that you are cornered into talking about it with people you don't want to. Most people have such dumb things to say about it, and the problem is that you have to be nice to them because they are your co-workers. I didn't really feel like going to work, not because I didn't feel well, but because of the conversations I would have to endure. Here are the question and statement lowlights:

1- "Did you watch the Super Bowl?" – A woman in my office
What do you think?

2- "What was your favorite commercial?"- Same woman
Who cares! It's the Super Bowl of professional football, not advertising. To answer your question- none.

3- "I liked the halftime show. Do people your age know who Tom Petty is?" –Another woman in my office
No, I lived under a rock until yesterday. Everyone of my generation likes Fergie, Nickleback, and Maroon 5.

4- "I drank so much yesterday that I should still be drunk! You?" –Sales Manager
I'm proud of you. Me? I've never had a beer in my life.

5- "I said to my friend that 'the game was not over' when New England scored that touchdown in the 4th." – A male coworker
You were right. There was 2:42 left to play.

6- "Well, it looks like Eli is finally going to get treated better by the New York media now. What do you think?" -Comptroller
And the sky is blue. What do you think, Captain Obvious?

7- "The best part, I thought, was when Jordin Sparks sang the National Anthem. I loved her on American Idol!"-Receptionist
…[blank stare]

All of these questions flew at me within the first twenty minutes of work this morning, causing me to leave the office to get a cold drink. No joke. You know that scene in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when both sets of grandparents arrive at the house simultaneously and everyone in the Griswold family looks as if they are about to snap? It's the one that prompts Clark to say, "Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season."Well, that's that feeling you get when you have to talk about the Super Bowl the next day with your co-workers. It makes you want to go away and not come back for a long time.