I will fully acknowledge that any posting that falls in the category of a rant clearly plays second fiddle on this website, as “Kutler’s Rant” is the true original. Yet I find myself unhappy with a number of things right now, so I’d like to think of this as my own version of a Peter Griffin “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?” segment.
Granted, I have many things to be thankful for, especially right on the heels of a money-in-the-pants pocket load of laundry. We have to appreciate the money wash, for it only treats ever so often.
That being said, there are a number of things that have gotten on my nerves at this juncture of the week (and just a warning, this is all over the board and in no particular order)…..
1) Leaving something after stating intentions to do so, then coming back.
Shaq – We will have to wait and see whether or not the big man can get in shape in time to have a significant impact with the Suns. My early and obvious prediction is a longing for Shawn Marion in Phoenix. Who is going to cover the guys that Marion would normally cover? Regardless, Shaq has been talking about how he is going to become a police officer for years. He didn’t have much left in the tank in Miami. Just get off the court and become one of Miami’s Finest already…
Jay-Z – An individual who made a big deal of the fact that he was making his last album while likely knowing all along that he was going to make another. So ‘Money Ain’t a Thing?’
Keyshawn Johnson – Just what we need, another outspoken wide receiver thinking about a return to do some more talking, this time on the field. Not enough love in the in the studio, Keyshawn?
Note: The return from retirement method didn’t treat Keith Van Horn too poorly, who netted a cool 4.3 billion after he came out of ‘retirement’ to be part of the Jason Kidd trade. I want footage of his reaction to THAT phone call.
http://www.sltrib.com/sports/ci_8311854
2) Eric Byrnes
I happened to tune into a local radio show that had Byrnes on the air talking about, you guessed it, the Clemens Trial….and the usually outspoken Byrnes proceeded to get angry with baseball fans for being too quick to judge guys like Pettitte and Clemens. Pettitte I might be able to consider some sympathy for. But then Byrnes called Clemens a classy guy that no one is giving a fair chance. Eric, are you under a rock out there in the Arizona desert? Has the heat gotten to you?
3) The price of razor blades
4) Safeway grocery stores
So the produce is pretty good, the selection….alright, I guess (this is no Wegman’s, clearly)….but why does almost every cashier that I go to have to talk to the point where it interrupts their job of scanning my groceries and typing in the occasional code? Do you really have to hold my UTZ onion dip in your hand while you talk about what you did last night? Scan, baby, scan! I don’t think I can wait any longer to enjoy loading 15 plastic bags into my trunk! And that’s another thing - a paper bag has fewer monthly sightings in Safeway than money does in my wash! Eight plastic bags = two or three paper-in-plastic bags. In response to my question about why there are never any paper bags – as you can tell this occasionally bothers me – I was told that they “get them in, we just run out quickly.” Hello….supply and demand? I guess the bag division doesn’t run on the same principles as those deciding what to stock the shelves with.
Returning to anti-rapper mode (this is still lingering from last week)…
5) Kanye
You know who’s a big fan of Kanye? Kanye. Get over yourself.
6) Derek Jeter
Although I was not annoyed by reading about his failed pickup attempt…..
http://www.pagesix.com/story/derek+strikes+out
7) Mis-remembered
8) People voting for Presidential candidates without a good reason – and being more than willing to go on T.V. to explain this to everyone.
Voting for someone on a whim is generally not something to be proud of. At least keep your ignorance in the voting booth to yourself. Hillary showing that she has an emotional side doesn’t count for a reason, either.
Shades of laziness…..
9) Ironing
After forgetting to unload the washer and then the dryer soon after the cycles ended on the SAME load, I was forced to break out the iron. It didn't go well. I may have set a record for achieving progress on an ironing board then losing it by creating a new wrinkle. I think I am going to stick with the “hang up in the bathroom during a hot shower” and/or the “stick in the dryer just before wearing” methods.
10)CNN
Not that I actually sit down and watch what is supposed to be one of this country’s most legitimate sources for news, and then complain about it….it’s the CNN clips that are unavoidable (ex. when every T.V. in the gym has it on, making it impossible to escape) that get me.
This is the same ‘reputable’ news source that had hour-long specials on Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears, then legitimately debated the meaning behind Paris Hilton’s time in prison and subsequent release. Oh, and my day isn’t complete unless I hear what is going through Lindsay Lohan’s mind. Yesterday all I hear about is the murder of a three-year-old by this child’s parent. Really uplifting and informative, CNN.
I will say that Wolf Blitzer is a great name, however. I just don’t know that he belongs in a news booth. Repo man, maybe?
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