Lay the Points

(Ed. Note - Lay the Points is a weekly Friday afternoon column written by our modest editor, Axel Freed. It’s a look at where, when and how you should place your money and attention for the upcoming weekend.)

Super Sunday. Not only the overindulgence pinnacle of most red-blooded American males’ year, but also the one single day where money changes hands at parties, over the internet, and in other ways, shapes and forms. However, Super Sunday also brings out the amateurs in everything football as well - the amateur drinkers, the amateur barbeque guys, and inevitably the amateur gamblers.

At your typical Super Bowl party, there are three types of gamblers:

Gambler A - “The happy go lucky gambler” - This guy is so excited to be at a Super Bowl party after weeks and weeks of casually watching football by himself. Now, he’s surrounded by constant reminders of masculinity - beer, meat, vulgar language, and gambling. Count him in for every pool and game of chance all day long. The sad thing is, this is usually the guy who wins the last quarter of the block pool, even though he still doesn’t fully understand how it works. If he loses, no big deal. This is the one day of the year he bets on ANYTHING.

Gambler B - “The fake big-time gambler” - This is the guy who will be in every gambling venture at a Super Bowl party, like Gambler A, but will also have bets placed with a bookie, on the internet, and will tell each and every person about who and what he wagered on. He’ll tell you that he bet tails on the coin toss, the over for the first quarter, the under for the second quarter, that Brady will have at least two touchdowns, the list goes on and on. And during the game, he’ll update everyone on his status. “Ooh, was that field goal more than 39 yards? Just won another $15!” And that’s what makes him a fake gambler. He stresses over bets, is crushed if he loses, and all that was at stake is $15. Shaddup already.

Gambler C - “The authentic in too deep gambler” - This guy has placed as many wagers as Gambler B, but doesn’t tell as many people about them. Also, he never reveals how much he has bet on each prop. He has lost tons and tons of money all season long on football, and sees this Sunday as his only shot at redemption. If he can win 75% of his bets, he’ll be even for the year. If he loses a lot, he’ll have to sell his car. He’s noticeably quiet during the game, and sucks down beers as if he is on death row. Winning a quarter in the block pool doesn’t even cause him to smile. He’s still $500 in the hole for the year.

Most parties are filled with 80% Gambler As, 15% Gambler Bs, and 5% Gambler Cs. But no party will be complete without gambling. Even if it is something small, any type of pool will do. The interest in the game can be lost very easily, and having a monetary amount riding on the next play can be huge.

In Lay the Points, each week I’ll preview my weekend bets. Take them for what they’re worth, but in my mind, I’m a gambling genius.

Mindless Props:

Kobe Bryant (+0.5) more points on Sunday than the Patriots
Kobe Bryant (-0.5) more free throws made than Wes Welker receptions
Plaxico Burress (+35.5) more receiving yards than Washington Wizards points
Laurence Maroney (+13.5) more rushing yards than Detroit Pistons points
Tyler Hansbrough (+0.5) more points plus rebounds than Patriots points
Ben Watson (0) more receptions than Fulham plus Aston Villa goals
Giants and Patriots (+5.5) more points that Rangers and Candiens shots on goal

Game Props:

Tails Over Heads in coin toss
Team to Score First: Giants (+150)
Team to Score Last: Giants (+140)
Longest TD: Over 47.5 yards
Shortest FG: Over 24.5 yards (-120)
Total Sacks: Over 4
Team to Commit First Penalty: Giants (-120)
Will there be a defensive or special teams touchdown: Yes (+135)

Over/Under on the game:

Over 54 Total Points

And finally, the game:

Giants (+12) over the Pats. (my final score prediction, Giants 31, Pats 28)