Hump Up the Jams

Dear Mr. Fantasy
Play us a tune.
Something to make us all happy.
Do anything, take us out of this gloom,
Sing a song, play guitar,
Make it snappy.
-Traffic

As we all are well aware of, February is known to athletics aficionados as the doldrums. The quiet time. The call before the storm that is March Madness, baseball season, the Masters, and more. But it’s also the peaceful time, when fantasy nerds* take a breath, stop analyzing and pretending, and gear up for another year.

(*I must classify that me referring to fantasy sports players as “nerds” is, in fact, calling myself a nerd. I play fantasy football and baseball every year, as well as many other fantastical side games that go on year round. We might as well admit it. We are nerds. Well, we certainly aren’t jocks.)

Surely, there are some people that are involved in fantasy basketball leagues that are ongoing, or other sports that hold fantasy competitions. In fact, Yahoo! offers fantasy sports games for:

Football
Baseball
Basketball
Hockey
Golf
Auto Racing
College Football

Excessive? Yes. Conceivably, right now you could have fantasy basketball, hockey, golf, and auto racing teams right now in the thick of competition. But, I am speaking to the purists of the fantasy world, who play the original games, football and baseball.

You know that your draft is right around the corner, and depending on how hardcore you are, you are trying to glean some sort of inside information from spring training camp reports. This is like trying to find philosophical insights from a movie that stars Lindsey Lohan.

For the average working gentleman or lady, fantasy baseball is a great distraction that can be visited daily at the office (unless you are blocked) or when you get home from work. Baseball, unlike football (its more captivating counterpart), requires almost daily attention. You must shuffle rosters, switch pitchers, and be attentive to injuries daily. But it’s something to do - and something to keep you busy while putting in the corporate eight.

Baseball is for the more serious, intense fantasy player. Football, on the other hand, has become so popular that it is almost trendy to be in. Women and men who know nothing about football or fantasy sports join fantasy football leagues for the social aspects of it, and the weekly communication on message boards between team owners.

Fantasy football is like a certain type of guy we’ve all met in college. He obsesses over a band that nobody has ever heard of. Then, when the band is popular and on MTV six months later, he swears that he hates the band because they’re “too mainstream” and that he only liked them when they were underground. It’s becoming so trendy that someone who was hardcore into fantasy baseball ten years ago, is likely to hate how everyone is doing it now. The fantasy football market has been flooded with impostors.

These rambling is going somewhere (believe you me) - and that is to this: fantasy baseball is the only pure fantasy sport left. It requires so much attention that no one will join just for fun or to be social. The season is too long and complicated for those who don’t know enough about the game. And it is one of the two original games. Old fantasy rotisserie leagues were played when scoring was done by transferring from newspaper to yellow legal pad.

What also makes it pure is that true, knowledgeable fans will get maximum enjoyment out of playing it. The draft for baseball requires more balance and strategy than football (which someone can get pick in ranked order off a cheat sheet). And some football owners don’t make any trades all season long. Because of the high injury rate in baseball, you are almost forced to make deals. Or at least to alter you lineup. More like the real general managers that you are supposedly emulating in the “fantasy world.”

But it’s good to have this time without any fantasy sports. To be back in reality for awhile. The overlap of baseball and football in September makes some fantasy owners’ heads spin. They lay awake at night wondering about backup tight ends and utility outfielders. Baseball season will soon be here with plenty of transactions, trade proposals, and injury reports. Then you won’t have off until the end of December. Enjoy fantasy standstill. The draft, the stress, the trash talking, and funny (or punny) team names are right around the corner.