TBPF's Weptilian Wednesday

This Weeks Career B-List Goaltender: Ron Tugnutt

This week’s edition brings us to the attention of one Ronald “Tuggy Bear” Tugnutt. Drafted by the Quebec Nordiques in the 4th round, 81st overall in 1986, his first three seasons saw him as a backup, ping-pongin’ back and forth from the AHL until ‘90-91, when he played in what would be a career high 56 games in net for the ‘Diques. A lacking performance the rest of the year and a return to backup duties ended his Quebec days, and in ’93, the Tugster was tossed around like a copy of Caddyshack 2 in trades to the Edmonton Oilers, Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks, and the Habs. In ‘95, Ronny boy found himself on the eternal underdogs, the Washington Capitals, and played the whole year on the AHL’s Portland Pirates. Leading the Pirates (pronounced “pie-rot-ees”) to the Calder Cup finals, the man who rhymes with “lug nut” soon signed a deal with the Ottawa Senators. Classic tender trainer Phil Myre took Ron under his wing, bolstering both skill and confidence, and his time in Ottawa was the closest he would ever get to gently brushing his fingers along the A-List. Our boy fought to split the next two seasons with the rebound-happy Damian Rhodes, and ‘98-99, he had the best season of his career: a league-best GAA of 1.79, second in the league in save percentage at .925, and a career high in wins (22). With the help of an injury to (hated) Curtis Joseph, Tugnutt was given a position in the 1999 NHL All-Star Game.

However, after gaining the starting position from a trade of Rhodes, Tugnutt showed his true colors and slacked on the ice in the shadow of the previous season’s promise. Ottawa said enough, and traded him to Pittsburgh for the great playoff-er Tom “The Barasshole” Barrasso. For the Pens, the nutty Tugnutt took over the starting job from Jean Sebastien Aubin to lead Pittsburgh on a playoff run, where on May 4, 2000, the Philadelphia Flyers took 72 shots. Keith “Wanna Go To” Primeau’s goal on the last shot of the game at 12:01 of the fifth overtime put the contest at 152:01 minutes, the longest NHL game since the ‘30s. (Ron Tugnutt actually holds the modern day record for most saves in a regular season non-loss game, where he stopped 70 of 73 shots in a 3-3 tie with the Bruins on March 21^st, 1991. It’s also the second highest number of saves made in any regular season NHL game. I-Ron Man Tugnutt, anyone? No? Ok, sorry.) After this performance, Tugnutt was briefly known as one of the most sought after free agents on the market. Both Ottawa and Pittsburgh attempted to reel Tugnutt back in, but were left out to dry by the team known to thrown money around like Howie Mandel, the expansion Columbus Blue Jackets. With the Jackets, Ron Tugnutt set the NHL record for most wins with an expansion team during its inaugural year, at 22. But like the cheetah, Ron Tugnutt can only keep pace for so long, and the team's second season wasn't quite so successful. In addition, Ronny battled injury, and in favor of a young starter, the B.J.’s (rofl) traded Tugnutt to the Dallas Stars to back up solid A-Lister Marty Turco. In January 2003, Turco suffered an ankle injury that allowed Tuggy Bear to play a total of 31 games that season and win 15, but with the start of the ’04 season, you didn’t have to be listening to hear that train leaving the station. He was sent down to the minors with the Utah Grizzlies for the first time in nearly ten years, and five games in for the Grizzlies, he pulled his groin and was out until the All-Star Break. After a four game suspension to Marty Turco, Tugnutt found a break he had been waiting for; alas, it was a break not meant to be found. He lost all four contests, although Stars were missing several key players, and the games were hard fought. The sun had set, and a game against San Jose would be his last game in the NHL to date. Not officially retired, Ron Tugnutt is currently listed as an Unrestricted Free Agent, and joined the CBC team as a color commentator for Hockey Night in Canada. Thanks, Ron Tugnutt…for giving an expansion team a faint glimmer of hope.

Speaking of hockey, a plea: if you happen to pass by a game on TV while flicking through between commercials of baseball spring training news, see if you can’t take a few minutes and watch the game. The season is really fantastic right now, and every contest in most divisions means a possible playoff spot or seeding change. I know the season needs to be about 15 games shorter and 6 teams need to cease to exist, but this is the time to watch it. You might be surprised how entertained you are if you are not a regular fan. Plus, what else is there during this time of year? Oh yea, March Madness. Ignore my previous statements. You will anyway.

I don’t feel like doing entertainment news today, so I’ll just make comments and review/recommend some recent stuff.

Be Kind, Rewind

Here’s a quick synopsis if you didn’t know anything about it, without spoilers. Two dimwit kids (Mos Def and Jack Black) in Passaic, NJ, work and hang out at a low-rent video store owned by Roger Murtaugh, and one day, Jack Black becomes magnetized and erases all the VHS’s in the store. Panicked, the two set out to refilm the movies people want to rent using a camcorder in a few hours, and soon people start to actually demand their version of other movies. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.

I had pretty high hopes for this movie, as I am a big Gondry fan, at least from a purely creative direction standpoint. While “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” is really a modern classic and a brilliantly written Kaufman story, his “The Science of Sleep” was a visual work of art, but really didn’t do anything for me in the storytelling realm. “Be Kind, Rewind” is kind of a halfway point for me; the story is interesting, albeit as a parable, and is enhanced, not overshadowed, by Gondry’s beautifully schizophrenic style. His rendition of a Fats Waller documentary is absolute genius, and I was actually kind of upset when he later showed me how he did it within the context of the movie. Almost like he told me how they make hotdogs while I was eating one. Still delicious, nonetheless. It’s funny, the characters are entertaining to watch, and it’s wonderfully visualized. It’s unpretentious and does exactly what it wants to do: remind us why we love movies and the art of cinema so much. I hope Jack Black has finally realized that he’s not supposed to be quoting famous lines from classic cinema at the end of embarrassing, big budget remakes; he’s supposed to be misquoting them in embarrassing camcorder remakes with Mos Def dressed like a 12 year old. Oh, and Mos Def doing a Fats Waller impersonation is worth my $8.00 child ticket any day. I give it 3 Harrison Fords Acting Awkward in Public Settings.

Beach House - Devotion

This Baltimore-based duo’s second album just came out, and a mainly Baltimore-based outlet as The Whiff is, I felt it only appropriate. I admittedly never got into their first album, simply because I never got a copy of it to listen to at length. However, from what I do know of the debut, this sophomore effort does seem a little cleaner, and little tighter, yet fundamentally similar in tone and songwriting. Let’s get first things out of the way first: this album is not one you’ll find rotating in between keg stands at a house party. It’s slow, it’s methodical, and almost dreamlike, so you might not lift weights to it, but it’s absolutely perfect for something to listen to while, say, writing a piece on the career of Ron Tugnutt. As someone who has been an avid fan of the band Low for a couple years now, the sound of Beach House struck me as something akin to the slowcore trio, minus the male vocal, less prominent guitar, and a willingness to complete a progression (a Low trademark). The melodies are similar, and likewise just as hauntingly beautiful, while the harmonies work to uplift just when you need it. But enough babbling, if you can handle the pace and settle in to it, you’ll find a lot of solid and clever songwriting, good execution; it will grow on you. You might not expect it at first, but after a few listens, you’ll be actively waiting for that awesome pre-chorus on “Gila,” and won’t get the end of “Home Again” out of your head for awhile. Trust me. And if you don’t like it, whatever, who even are you. Do you even HAVE a blog? I give it three and a half Latexed Freddy Mercurys.

Oscar-Worthy Comments

That intro was trying so hard. Too hard. Where’s Billy Crystal when you need him? Oh that’s right, sitting on his ass avoiding calls from Danny DeVito about Throw Momma From The Train 2: The Chronicles of Riddick.

That telescope/periscope montage was actually really, really good.

The pregnancy stuff kinda made me uncomfortable, like if I was Jessica Alba, I might have punched John Stewart in the gills like that shark.

As much as I loved No Country For Old Men, by the end, I was starting to get sick of hearing about it.

3 different songs from “Enchanted”? At least, AT LEAST, Aerosmith or Bono wasn’t involved. Not that they are even close to being on the same level, I just don’t want to see Bono anymore if it’s not 3D.

Clooney.

Hanks.

Clooney.

Nicholson.

Clooney.

Hopper.

The Hopper joke about letting him know that he was there was fantastic.

Katherine Heigl really wasn’t lying when she said how nervous she was. Calm down, girl, and take off that rouge.

Who told Tilda Swinton that it was okay to go to the Academy Awards like that? This is the Oscars, Tilda, not a bottle of Got2Be hair product.

Would you notice?

Is anyone else attracted to that French girl who won Best Actress? IN THE MOVIE?

Also, the woman who wrote Juno? My strippers never looked like that. But then again, they usually looked like Dan Cortese.

Do you think that Jonah Hill ever thought about one day presenting an award at the Oscars while he was filming for “Accepted” wearing a hot-dog suit?

Robert F. Boyle had me on the edge of my seat with the number of times he almost made it awkward to watch a 98 year old man stumble over words and remember what he wanted to say on a national stage. I actually let out a sigh of relief when it was over. Good for him.

What is Miley Cyrus doing presenting an Oscar?! Get her clown-faced ass out of here, this is serious!

Johnny Depp once again picks an Oscar-nominated part in a year with at least 2 other fantastic and one unbeatable part. I love ya, but you can’t beat Day-Lewis with a musical, sorry bud.

All in all, the Oscars actually weren’t that bad this year, but they also weren’t very memorable. Except for the Wii skit. That was legitimately pretty awesome.

Clooney.

Scienterrific American and the Tech-Shack Shooters

Not really anything decent to talk about in the tech world, pretty much at all.

iTunes is now the number 2 music retailer in the U.S., eight months after surpassing Amazon, which was absolutely huge. Even huger, Best Buy was just overtaken by the Apple online store, which now has only super-hugest Wal-Mart to contend with. Apple says 50 million customers have bought over 4 billion songs, with over half of them being Depeche Mode remixes. 4 BILLION SONGS. BOUGHT. LEGALLY. FOR A DOLLAR. That is so much money, and with about as much overhead as Spencer the homeless guy. Think you could shave a few hamiltons off the iPhone price, aholes? No, didn’t think so.

Rufus Terrill of Atlanta, ex-engineer and current bar owner, made a security robot for his bar to deter the usual lot of vagabonds, thieves, and frat boys from his local inn. The 300 pound machine shines a spotlight on loiterers, yells at them to get off the premises, and even can blast a stream of water. Aside from its obvious talents in a wet-tshirt contest, the robot has allegedly worked, keeping people from disrupting the drunks as they leave to drive home unhindered like it’s 1973.

Scientists at Aberystwyth University are testing the new Mars rover and friends, in preparation for the European Space Agency’s ExoMars 2013 mission to go to the red planet and send back more useless picture. The university has simulated the surface of Mars in a lab, and it is reported they are using the same set as the one they filmed the moon landing in. Don’t hit me, Buzz.

A recent study seems to show that anti-depressants don’t really work very well on people that don’t exhibit severe symptoms, at least not really any better than a placebo. With the number of people using anti-depressants skyrocketing in recent years, this could be a very big issue for the pharmaceutical companies, for if people find out they’ve been taking and paying for unnecessary medication, they will likely be upset, leading to more depression. Maybe. The study went on to recommend, for minor depression, a pint of good Ol’ Grandad’s and a piece of chocolate cake.

Another study found a biological basis for cocaine addiction, besides the fact that it makes you awesome. Cocaine apparently affects some people differently than others, messing with the parts of the brain that cause decision making and behavioral choices, effectively hindering what we call willpower. This view of cocaine addiction as a medical condition rather than a counseling problem will help us treat cocaine addiction better, but until they find out that Cheez-Its affect decision-making, I’m screwed.

Dinosaur-likers (or biological archaeologists, if you prefer) found fossilized remains of the biggest marine reptile ever recorded: a giant tear-drop shaped thing with flippers and a huge alligator head. That’s what they said. The thing was about 50 feet long, which if you think about it, is almost as big as my…well, you understand. They say the thing could probably lift a small car in its mouth and bite it in half, in which case I would be so mad about the mandatory seat-belt law. Now what, officer!

That’s all I got. Notice I talked about hot dogs TWICE this week? Ohh there’s a storm comin’. Some say it’s already here.

Oh, and this: